Thoughts on ‘How to Serve “The Singles” — Ministry to Unmarried Adults in Your Local Church’

This guest blog post on Desiring God blog by Carolyn McCulley is a god-send. It makes no pretense that the church has problems ministering to singles and Carolyn offers edifying ideas on how to better serve this group.

Some thoughts:

  • On the section, ‘You are not shepherding a dating service — wait, yes you are’, Carolyn perspicaciously observes that the best resource that the church has to facilitate relationship among single adults is ‘married men who befriend and mentor single men — not to “fix” them, but to invest in them as brothers. ‘ I say Amen to that!  In the end, what matters is disciple-making and role-modelling. My issue with role modelling is that relationships in my church are usually so hush-hush, the brothers have no idea how to court the ladies because they couldn’t even learn through observations!
  • After reading the section ‘Marriage is not the ultimate prize’, what we can have on earth is but This Momentary Marriage (to borrow John Piper’s book title), and what awaits us is the wedding feast in heaven.
  • I love this section header: ‘Single men trust God by risking rejection and single women trust God by waiting on him.’  The section header says it all. Need I say more?
  • From another post on singleness, the exhortation lodged in my mind is ‘suffer well.’ Yes, as the section ‘Don’t be afraid to challenge bitterness’ describes, this single phase may be a form of suffering. But we need to learn to suffer well.

We need more of these reality checks.


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